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Wednesday, May 16, 2018

BLAH

As usual, I write when I'm in a bad mood.  I am just tired of taking care of everyone else.  I am taking care of me too, but so many people impact my life and I don't know how to change it.

I think I may have to take care of my son for the rest of his life.  He's not normal.  He may never be.  Peter says he understands, but it would have a great impact on our relationship and I really don't want that to happen.

Stress.  I need to work on lessening it.



Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara

Sunday, May 13, 2018

Sad Mother's Day

I'm sad.  Not because of my mom, or Anthony, because of Keven.  The other day my credit cards went missing.  I found the little pouch I carry them in in his room.  But - the four important ones were missing.  He swore up and down for days that he did not take them.  Of course I knew, and he knew, he was lying.  Its just what he does.  He lies.  He steals and he lies. 

Yesterday I had $10 in my wallet.  Its gone.  The only reason I keep any cash on me is so I can give it to him when he needs it.

I knew he had a bunch of our stuff locked in the trunk of his car so I spent my Mother's Day morning going through it and putting most things back where they belong.  Hidden in a little slot in a watch box were my credit cards - the ones he didn't steal, except one was still missing.  Also found my sister's checkbook.
This doesn't show all the plates (some gold plated), etc. that I had already put away.

I haven't even seen him yet today.  I know he hates himself for the things he does, but he can't seem to stop doing them.  I know I've been saying this for years, but the time is come for me to turn my back on him and let him figure out life on his own.  I may call his parole officer tomorrow to ask if they have a plan and inform them that he won't be living here much longer.

I'm not even mad.  I'm just plain sad.


Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara