Sunday, January 8, 2017

Staying Positive While Surrounded by Negativity

Life has its ups and downs but lately I refuse to say things like "Life is hard" or "I hate my job" or "I'm broke".  I'm staying positive most of the time and catching myself when I'm not.

With that said, I need to get some stuff out.

I noticed that several FB friends have left FB because of the negativity related to the Presidential Election and the Pres. Elect.  And then there are all the other things on there that are sad - I am totally guilty of sharing articles about addiction and have decided to be very picky about which ones I share because frankly - does anyone read them anyhow?  I don't want to give up FB - NO WAY.  I've got several cute babies (and one on the way) that make my day on a daily basis, plus grandkids and pets of friends.  I LIKE BABY, CAT AND DOG POSTS ~ I'm one of those people, LOL (did you know LOL is out and hahaha is in, only old folks use LOL now, so I've been told).

Anyhow I scroll on by the Trump Bashers and Hilary Haters (I did not vote Trump, just for the record) and I scroll by things that won't have any positive affect in my life.  But I CARE about my FB friends and hope they keep writing.

I know a lot of people still blog.  I simply don't have the time to read blog posts like I used to.  I had a job in 2012 where that's all I did all day!  I opened the mail, answered the phone and blogged!  Loved it!  But didn't love the low pay.

So here is my sad stuff of late:

1.  Anthony's grandma, who is one of my closest friends, Dottie, has cancer.  Its ab aggressive form and there are complications.  She has a heart condition so that can't risk the type of surgery that would probably save her life.  She's kind of like a surrogate mom to me and I'm that for her as a daughter.  I love her so much, we've been through so much together.  I think if she were to die her husband Nick would not be long behind her.

2.  In the last five months 2 people I know (they go to a weekly group I go to) have both lost their ONLY CHILD to heroin OD.  Each son had long term sobriety, one was working in recovery, the other had just gotten out of a long jail term.  One was just this week and next week we will see this precious mom at our group.  I am grateful Keven is still alive and doing well.

3.  My nature is to care, to be compassionate, to nurture and encourage and seek solutions and look for answers.  Working at a drug rehab hasn't changed that, but it makes me sad/mad that so many of the addicts that work in my office have so little patience or empathy toward our clients.  I hear shit they say and then think "that kid's parents are paying big bucks to send their kid here...if they only knew".    I've noticed that a lot of alcoholics think they are superior to drug addicts.  And I've noticed that its all about the money.  I get that, I really do, its a business and has to be run like one, but they are so closed minded to any new research findings on different approaches to recovery.  Its 12 Steps and Tough Love all the way because that's how they all did it.  Its fantastic that it worked for them - but how many of their peers ended up dead because that approach did NOT work?  We all know you can't love someone into recovery, but there has to be a balance (IMO).

4.  There is no four.  I think I'm done.

On a happy note - after being single for my entire life because I never met "The Right Guy" I may have met him.  I'll keep you posted, its way too new to know for sure but it feels like nothing either of us have experienced before and have always wanted.

My biggest concern in life is Keven finding a J O B.  Someone out there needs to give him a chance, but the facts are he has things going against him, some are not his fault, some are.  Prison changed him.  The sweetness that hid beneath his surface is gone.  There's an angry bitterness in its place along with more paranoia and anxiety than he had before he went in.  He's not like some meanie - he's helfpul around the house, he loves playing with his little cousin (age 2) when we see her, he babies all our pets...but he's different.  Last night we watched a movie together and I saw him smile and heard him laugh a few times, it melted my heart...and now I have a tear in my eye thinking of it.  Those moments shouldn't be so rare that they cause me tremendous joy.  But they are.

Thanks to whoever reads this.

Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara