Monday, November 9, 2015

Doing Better

Just wanted to update my few but faithful readers. I seem to have turned a little corner in the grieving process.

For the first month or so, especially the first few days/week, I felt like I was walking around in this dark cloud and that anyone that came in contact me would see the dark cloud and therefore they would understand why the entire world was dark to me and they wouldn't ask me questions like "How are you today?" or say things like "have a nice day".  I couldn't say Fine and You Too.  I just couldn't.  I wanted to scream:  I AM NOT FINE AND THIS IS NOT GOING TO BE A GOOD DAY.

Life was going on around me as if nothing happened and it made me want people to understand who the world had lost.  Not just some shot out drug addict - no, someone special to his core.

Yes, I remember the bad stuff too.  But there's no need to now.  Only the good stuff matters.

I still miss Anthony constantly, but its not as overwhelming.

As for Keven - ugh.  I'll save that for another day.  He's doing fine but his case is not looking so great.

New stuff to mark Ant's grave.  I keep his skateboard in my car where he left it and sit on it when I visit him.