Tuesday, July 28, 2015

I am thankful for prison....

I belong to a local group called "Solace".  It was started by two moms in my area that both lost their very young (ages 19 and 22) sons to heroin overdose.  They do all sorts of great things for "the cause" and also meet every Wed. night.  They welcome parents who have kids in addictive addiction or long term prison to join them since we all know that some grief happens even if the person is still living.

They are amazing women that I respect and admire.  Today the question on their site was "what are you grateful for" and all those brokenhearted moms found something positive to say.

It made me want to come over here and say that I am grateful my son is still alive and headed for prison.  He has some very serious charges against him and is looking at a minimum of 10 years in state prison, level 3 or 4 yard.  Last time I wrote here I was thinking he could a program...HA!  That was before they charged with something very serious.  (I don't mind sharing, email me if you're curious) I just don't want to share publicly or with people that actually know him - most of my family doesn't even know.

How did this happen to my sweet, funny, loving boy?  Well obviously his addiction turned him into the kind of person that was out of control and willing to break the law to get money to feed his habit.

I am hoping the PD can have one of the strikes dropped (do other states out thee use the 3 strike law?)  because 10 years is a long time.  I am hoping for 5 - 7.

I may seem calm right now, but when I first learned of all this, I was so low for about a week.  New fears come into play:  will he be hurt in there?  will he continue to use in there?  will he become a gang member (yes) will being institutionalized for all that time change him forever?

Court is Friday.  Not sure if they will offer him a deal or if this will drag on for months.

I know he will be at least 6 hours away from me.  I don't miss him now, but I'm sure I will as time goes by.  I'm just grateful he's still alive, unlike the children of most of the Solace group parents.

Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

IN Jail - OUT of harm's way

The story of how Keven got into jail this time is long and detailed so I'll simply say this:

He took a combo of drugs that caused him to hallucinate that 8 robbers trying to enter our house so he dug an over 100 year old shotgun out of a closet and shot out his window at them "killing" 4 of them.  He then called 911 to get help; with the other four.

It was very sad, one of my worst days ever (and if you read here, you know I've been through a lot).  He doesn't remember much of it.

I'm hoping and praying that he can get court ordered to a decent program that can provide him the help he desperately needs (to maybe resolve some of his lifelong issues).

As usual money is a factor.  I didn't bail him out or get him an attorney and I can't afford the INSANE costs of a good program.  The lowest I found so far is $3,000 a month but you have to commit to 90 days = $9,000.  Its so unfair to people who don't have money (probably because they've already spent hundreds of thousands on their addict).

Thanks for reading my blog.  I miss all of you.

Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara