I'm addicted to sugar. I went without it for a month then had one BITE of it and "woke the dragon". Its horrible because it makes my body hurt, makes me depressed, and zaps my energy. But I keep eating it (in the form of chocolate, good chocolate like Lindt...mmmmm).
I need to quit.
Keven will officially have six months tomorrow....6 months. He's done it on his own with the help of Suboxone. I am not willing to get into a debate on whether or not being on Suboxone is "real sobriety" or not because I don't give a shit about the semantics of it. My son is not sticking needles in his arm. My son is not being found in alleys or the car turning blue and hauled off the the ER. My son is functioning, sweet, kind, considerate, etc. My son doesn't lie to me or steal from me. SO, if it took Suboxone to get him this far I am thankful for it.
Last night he wanted to go to a meeting. He hasn't been to a meeting about a year but he wanted to be around people. Instead of thinking "oh how nice" it scared the crap out of me because the main thing he's done to stay clean is to avoid just about everyone he knows that has ever done drugs. So I was concerned about him going back into an environmental like this and wondered if he was going there to get drugs (he's done that in the past, apparently its a great place to find connections). He got there and "didn't feel up to it" so came home. I will never know why he was really going to the meeting, but I'm glad he didn't.
Meetings are like a savior for some addicts/alcoholics, but not for all of them.
I wonder if I pissed anyone off with the things I said here? Oh well. I just had to get all this out of my system.
Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara