I swear, I can't get back on this darn roller coaster! I saw "the look" Saturday, but then talked to him on the phone last night and he was so incredibly normal sounding. I am going to stop jumping to conclusions and wait for a real crisis before I react and make myself crazy with worry.
Thank you for all the comments. I still feel the care and concern and don't know what I'd do if I was alone in all this.
I'll share a bit more about my personal life: Many of you who've known me for years are aware that I am single and always hoping to meet the right guy for me. It's never happened. Somewhere in the back of my mind I've always had a feeling that instead of meeting someone new, someone from my past would re-emerge and we'd fall in love again and stay together forever. I even had a few hopefuls in mind of who that someone might be, all nice guys that I had nice relationships with.
But for me, nice was always boring, I always left. I had the typical "bad boy" syndrome that many of us women seem to fall into. But bad boys grow up, right? They change, they turn into nice guys. Let's hope that's the case in my situation.
I am currently seeing someone from my past as just friends, but it seems to be leading to more. He was my very first love, and it was a very intense relationship. So we find ourselves together again, not looking like the pretty boy and girl we were in our late teens/early 20's, but wiser, less selfish, much more mellow (like way mellow.....).
I'm going to discuss it with my therapist today and am nervous. That means I think there's something wrong with it. But I am following my heart this time and taking it slow. I am not the person I was back then and he isn't either.
Peace, Hope and Love,
Barbara
First of all,...GOOD about Keven. As the saying goes...don't borrow trouble. But, truely, I SO know what you mean. I can sit here and easily say that to you, but should add that when D was just recently home here for only 1 1/2 days, and he went out with some old friends(good ones,but still),...after they drove off, I literally started shaking. So, aagh, I KNOW how tough it is to keep those feelings at bay ! :(
ReplyDeleteAs far as the love life....sounds exciting ! :) Keep us posted ! You know we'd all love this to work out for you. You deserve it.
Follow your heart...that's my advice.
ReplyDeleteWait! Unless it comes to Keven...then follow your head!
LOL....just have a great day.
I hope you find your true love...and I'll fly out for the wedding. (really;)
ReplyDeleteHi Barbara,
ReplyDeleteI have continued to follow your blog, but just haven't taken the time to comment. I guess Keven just isn't ready to quit yet and how heartbreaking that is for you and sad for him (although he totally doesn't comprehend this). I am glad that you called the cops to prevent him from further injuring himself, and just as important from him injuring someone else. I can only imagine how hard and frustrating that was for you to do. I am happy that you are allowing yourself to move on with your life. Hopefully your relationship with your long ago friend will be healthy for you. You deserve happiness, Barbara, and don't you forget it!!!
Continuing to send you and your son lots of prayers! Take care.
I think that you will know when the right one comes along. It is like the air is sucked out of the room. But in a good way!
ReplyDelete