"Good Luck, enjoy and savor the moment. Remember, that is when KEVEN'S work begins."
So very true. I've been working hard in therapy, and over the last several years (with much help from the readers here) to get to the point where I am at this moment: truly, honestly, sincerely LETTING GO. I've said it to myself a million times, like a mantra "let go, let god" or just "LET GO, DAMN IT!", but now I actually have let go. Its so freeing, its so much less stressful.
Naturally, I still have conerns, I still care, I will always have the typical amount of maternal "worry", but for the most part, my son is ready to be an adult and take care of himself. I am not going to stand in the way. If he fails, he fails, but that doesn't mean I fail.
My mom and sis haven't exactly reached the point where I am and to them it may appear that I am being "lazy" or taking the easy way out because I am not struggling to manipulate the situation and make it safe and nice and normal....but I know all of you get it.
Its not easy, its taken years to get here, I still have fleeting moments of panic and fear. But for the most part, I am ready. I am ready to embrace my son upon his release, then release him back to his own life.
He will be out sometime between midnight tonight and midnight tomorrow night, most likely closer to midnight tomorrow night - thank goodness I have Monday's off! Time to spend with him and sleep in after a midnight run to the jail. He plans to move all his stuff out of the house Monday.
Here we are looking rather geeky, but lovable, right?
P.S. Three goals for tomorrow: Laundry, Grocery shopping and CATCHING UP ON BLOGS/EMAILS!
Peace, Hope and Love, Barbara